I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
