? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
