so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
