im six kinds of drunk right now
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
