I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
