wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize