It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
