Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
