There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
