Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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