Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
