Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
