haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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