Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
