I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
