Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
