You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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