wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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