Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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