My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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