My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This baby is an asshole
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
