yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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