Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
