At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize