So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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