how can u be prego again
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
