he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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