is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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