how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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