if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I am puke
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
