She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
