I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
