my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
