i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize