he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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