my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
