He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
