I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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