my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
