What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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