Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
