think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
