Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize