Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
