GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
