Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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