you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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