she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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