buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Two words: nipple clamps
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