I feel like abortions should bother me more
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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