He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
