Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How external is "for external use only"?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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