They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
