Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
