I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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