ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can't turn off my feet"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
