i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
