dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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