Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
