For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
