dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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